{"id":383,"date":"2026-06-06T12:10:08","date_gmt":"2026-06-06T12:10:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/?p=383"},"modified":"2026-06-06T12:10:08","modified_gmt":"2026-06-06T12:10:08","slug":"the-first-18-months","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/?p=383","title":{"rendered":"The First 18 Months"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Sir! I love you!<\/span> Thank you for including me in this meeting to talk about all the wonderful things you\u2019ve accomplished since January 2025. What a big, beautiful man you are. The greatest fellow in the whole world! You\u2019re so alert. And you can walk! Wow!<\/p>\n

Read more How Trump\u2019s Kennedy Center Takeover Failed<\/a><\/p>\n

When grown men see you, they weep, and they are right to do so. Look at those toes. Your hair looks great; it is the right amount. If you were playing golf and you wanted to just put the ball in the hole with your hand, I don\u2019t think any of us would stop you.<\/p>\n

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Explore the July 2026 Issue<\/h2>\n

Check out more from this issue and find your next story to read.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

View More<\/section>\n<\/div>\n

And that face! That face should be on Mount Rushmore! Or the Department of Labor, at the very least.<\/p>\n

I love how you like to watch a parade and clap. Maybe we can do that for your birthday! Please give me back my phone; I think you are calling Europe, and that will not make anything better.<\/p>\n

I love what a priority gas emissions are for you, and how you smile afterward.<\/p>\n

I like how when you use a pen, you make a big squiggle. I also like how sometimes you make up a word and then we all use it, because we want you to know how smart we think you are. I loved when you correctly pointed out a squirrel. I said that you were a genius earlier; you responded by throwing some ketchup on the floor. And I was honored just to be in your presence when that happened.<\/p>\n

Read more The J6 Rioter Now Working at the Pentagon<\/a><\/p>\n

Hey, who turned on the TV? Let\u2019s turn that off.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s put on that playlist you like instead! I love how much you love Andrew Lloyd Webber! And how, when you hear \u201cY.M.C.A.,\u201d you do a movement that you consider to be a form of dance. Please don\u2019t touch that button. That button will mess a lot of things up.<\/p>\n

Please stop typing gibberish. I am trying to finish this column. I love you very much, but anytime you write something, it creates work for me.<\/p>\n

Hey. Look at this nice world. Do you see how nice it is? Hamburgers exist (I know you are fond of those) and hats (you love a hat)\u2014but there are so many wonderful things you have never seen. Things I want to show you. Things I want you to care about, and not break. I don\u2019t know how to make you love the parts of the world that I love, but, oh, I wish I could.<\/p>\n

And by the way, your fingers are perfect. Just the right size for a man your age.<\/p>\n

Read more \u2018Obsession\u2019 Takes Gen Z\u2019s Social Anxiety to the Extreme<\/a><\/p>\n

This article appears in the <\/i>July 2026<\/i> print edition.<\/i><\/small><\/p>\n<\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A Cabinet meeting with my son, who is exactly as old as the current administration<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-383","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"yoast_head":"\nThe First 18 Months - Commercial Relocation Pros<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/?p=383\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The First 18 Months - Commercial Relocation Pros\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A Cabinet meeting with my son, who is exactly as old as the current administration\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/?p=383\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Commercial Relocation Pros\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-06-06T12:10:08+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/commercialrelocationpros.com\\\/?p=383#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/commercialrelocationpros.com\\\/?p=383\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/commercialrelocationpros.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/3a3374a445f1b5d4852b1d7c15b9fe3a\"},\"headline\":\"The First 18 Months\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-06-06T12:10:08+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/commercialrelocationpros.com\\\/?p=383\"},\"wordCount\":503,\"commentCount\":0,\"articleSection\":[\"Humor\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/commercialrelocationpros.com\\\/?p=383#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/commercialrelocationpros.com\\\/?p=383\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/commercialrelocationpros.com\\\/?p=383\",\"name\":\"The First 18 Months - 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