{"id":2100,"date":"2026-08-17T11:11:31","date_gmt":"2026-08-17T11:11:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/?p=2100"},"modified":"2026-08-17T11:11:31","modified_gmt":"2026-08-17T11:11:31","slug":"the-wrong-kind-of-american","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/?p=2100","title":{"rendered":"The Wrong Kind of American"},"content":{"rendered":"<section>\n<p>A<span>t the CIA<\/span>, they\u2019d started an office pool on when I\u2019d be fired.<\/p>\n<p>President Trump would be sworn in for his second term at noon; the smart money had me gone by 12:15. But the smart money hadn\u2019t counted on Trump\u2019s first pick to run intelligence for the National Security Council being shredded by an online mob on suspicion of disloyalty. There wasn\u2019t yet anyone in place to fire me.<\/p>\n<p>Read more <a href=\"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/?p=2098\">Lindsay Clancy Was Mentally Ill. But Was She Legally Insane?<\/a><\/p>\n<div>\n<section>\n<div>\n<h2>Explore the Special Preview: October 2026 Issue<\/h2>\n<p>Check out more from this issue and find your next story to read.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>View More<\/section>\n<\/div>\n<p>After taking the oath, Trump spoke at the Capitol. \u201cAs of today, it will henceforth be the official policy of the United States government that there are only two genders: male and female.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDid he \u2026 ?\u201d an NSA colleague asked. She glanced at me and looked away.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYeah,\u201d I muttered. The good news: I was one of those two genders. The bad news: The administration would have views as to which one.<\/p>\n<p>I gripped my badge. I could take it off, leave the White House complex, walk out the north gate, and never look back. I imagined the story they would tell: <em>See? Even she knew she didn\u2019t belong.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>I didn\u2019t move. I\u2019d wanted this badge since I was a kid. I\u2019d chosen to be here.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI know you all heard what the president said,\u201d I told my team after Trump\u2019s speech. \u201cThere\u2019s a rumor of an executive order on bathrooms. If anyone asks, I\u2019m using the coffee shops across the street.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>My whole team spoke up: <em>Julia, we\u2019ve got your back.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>\u201cMe being trans is not a secret,\u201d I reminded them. \u201cPromise me: Nobody covers for me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Back in my office, I closed the door. I cried quickly, efficiently, no sound\u2014\u00adthe way you do when the walls have ears, and everyone thinks you\u2019re fearless.<\/p>\n<p>Joe Biden\u2019s political appointees had left the week before, and I was now the senior intelligence official in the White House. For the incoming Trump administration, the trans woman would man the gates.<\/p>\n<p>F<span>or as long<\/span> as I can remember, I\u2019ve carried two dreams. The first came true in 2007, when I raised my hand, standing on the agency\u2019s marble seal, and became a CIA officer. The second dream, I didn\u2019t dare speak aloud; it came from \u00adan unexplainable conviction that I should have been born a woman. The longing, like homesickness, grew into an unbearable darkness.<\/p>\n<p>On a sweltering June morning in 2013, I sat in the CIA parking lot, hands clamped on the wheel, preparing myself to live out my second dream. Terrified of my first day at work as Julia, I\u2019d chosen a blue button-down and pants, hoping no one would notice I\u2019d changed genders. At the turnstile, the guard smiled. \u201cMorning, ma\u2019am,\u201d he said, and the badge reader flashed green. To use the lexicon of my trade, the after-action review would have read: \u201cNothing significant to report.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>In the years ahead\u2014\u00adtraveling to 35 countries, briefing former President George W. Bush, becoming a mom\u2014\u00adbeing trans would sometimes seem like the most ordinary part of my life. But as much as I wanted to disappear into normal womanhood and the work, I knew there were others who needed to see that a life like mine was possible. So, in 2017, I wrote in these pages under the pseudonym Jenny Hall about how being openly trans at the CIA made me a better officer. CIA recruiters used the essay on college campuses, and new officers\u2014\u00adnot realizing they were talking with the author\u2014told me that it had inspired them to apply.<\/p>\n<p>Soon after the essay ran, a call went out for volunteers to join the President\u2019s Daily Brief staff and serve the new Trump administration. Working the PDB meant staying up all night to distill the most sensitive intelligence we possessed into a book that the president and our senior leaders read at dawn. It was one of the CIA\u2019s most coveted assignments\u2014a proving ground for our best analysts.<\/p>\n<p>But the new administration was led by a president who had praised Vladimir Putin and compared the intelligence community to the Nazis. Almost nobody volunteered. I did.<\/p>\n<p>Growing up in Hawaii, I dreamed of seeing the world. My grandfather gave me a simple promise: \u201cWork hard, don\u2019t complain; the country will take care of you. We came to America for small things. No pogroms. No leaky roof. Paradise was a bonus.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>Service before politics. Country before self.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>I clung to this promise as I became a man, a husband, a father, a CIA officer, a wife, a mother.<\/p>\n<p>For two years I served the Trump White House, arriving at work around midnight, six days a week, roaming the West Wing before dawn. My wife learned to live with the silence at the dinner table.<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes I filled in on the road\u2014\u00adsummers in Bedminster, winters in Palm Beach. On my first trip, I boarded at Joint Base Andrews and a card waited at my seat: <span>Ms. Curlee, Welcome Aboard Air Force One<\/span>.<\/p>\n<p>Grateful for the welcome, I was less grateful to whoever had sat me in the middle of the White House press pool. So I stuffed my face with the best waffles of my life and kept small talk to a minimum. As we flew to Mar-a-Lago, the president\u2019s aide beckoned me to the front of the plane. No one cared that a trans woman was briefing President Trump.<\/p>\n<p>Then one morning, my boss walked in, a wide smile on her face. She had a new job for me.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cJulia, what would you think about briefing the vice president?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>This<\/em> vice president?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Days later, I stood in his driveway at the Naval Observatory. <em>I must be insane<\/em>, I thought. Mike Pence had built his career on public opposition to marriages like mine\u2014\u00adto people like me. But for all our differences, he was the vice president. He needed the best intel support possible, and this was my country too.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMr. Vice President,\u201d I said, \u201cit\u2019s an honor to meet you. My name is Julia\u201d\u2014like I\u2019d practiced a thousand times.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019re abandoning me with <em>her<\/em>?\u201d Pence teased his outgoing briefer, with a line I\u2019d heard he used with other people. He turned to me. \u201cOkay, Julia, tell me something I don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSir, did you know that a third of Purdue\u2019s computer-science grad students are Chinese nationals?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He nodded once. \u201cGet in the car.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I grabbed my case and climbed into the Beast, the nickname for the executive limo. I hunted in vain for a seat belt as Secret Service radios squawked, \u201cOn the move.\u201d I dug in my heels as the floor pitched. Pennsylvania Avenue, the PDB, and me\u2014\u00adalone with Mike Pence.<\/p>\n<p>When I got home, my wife and I decided to keep my new boss\u2019s identity a secret. In my community, his name was shorthand for everything we feared. I could imagine the optics, and God help us if someone called a reporter.<\/p>\n<p>For the next year, I briefed him nearly every morning. As soon as the coffee was hot, Pence was ready to work. He ripped through the briefing book, firing questions at me, scribbling in the margins.<\/p>\n<p>Down the hall, the president was using his phone to light up Twitter. The vice president preferred to use our multibillion-\u00addollar intel apparatus to save lives. Some mornings he would push back on an assessment, but I would hold the line, explaining how the conclusions had been reached. That was the job. When my tour was almost up, he asked me to extend it.<\/p>\n<p>One morning, as we approached the White House gates, the vice president turned to me. \u201cJulia, do you know why they call it \u2018the People\u2019s House\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cRight up until the Civil War, anyone could come to the door and wait to see the president.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>As the steel gates opened, he leaned in. \u201cYou know, it\u2019s a privilege to work here.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes, sir.\u201d I held his gaze. \u201cIt is.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>When my tour finally ended, Pence invited my family to the White House. In his office, he took my mother\u2019s hand and smiled: \u201cYou must be very proud of your daughter.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Years before, my mother had told me that in her grief, she\u2019d felt that\u2014\u00adsomehow\u2014I\u2019d killed her son. Now I\u2019d done the impossible: lived both dreams, becoming an intelligence officer and a woman. Now the vice president was holding my mother\u2019s hand.<\/p>\n<p>No one has affirmed my gender identity quite like Mike Pence. On my last day, I gave him a letter. I wrote: \u201cI\u2019m a trans\u00adgender CIA officer, a wife and mother\u2014\u00adand I served the Vice President. Anything is possible in America.\u201d I told him many people at the CIA hadn\u2019t believed that a trans officer like me could serve someone like him.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWell,\u201d he said, \u201cI\u2019m glad I passed the test.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>In that moment, it felt like the battle had been won.<\/p>\n<p>For years, friends told me people need to know that a gay trans woman had worked for Mike Pence and that the world hadn\u2019t exploded. <em>No<\/em>\u2014I was adamant\u2014<em>we serve in silence.<\/em> But I kept the photos of that time.<\/p>\n<p>After January 6, 2021, the vice president invited his former PDB briefers for a farewell picture in the West Wing. The place was quieter than I\u2019d ever heard it. As we said our goodbyes, my voice shook.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSir,\u201d I said, \u201cwhat you did last week\u2014\u00adI\u2019ve never been prouder to have worked for you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Read more <a href=\"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/?p=2096\">Trump Will Make South Korea Pay For His Iran Humiliation<\/a><\/p>\n<p>He nodded. \u201cThank you,\u201d he said. \u201cThat means a lot to me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>We shook hands. The mob at the Capitol had chanted for his hanging. He\u2019d done his duty to the country, certifying the vote. I\u2019d done mine to him. That was the bargain. <em>Service before politics. Country before self.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>T<span>wo and a half<\/span> years later, after a stint back at the CIA, I returned to the White House as a director for intelligence programs on President Biden\u2019s National Security Council.<\/p>\n<p>Days after Trump\u2019s 2024 election victory, the intelligence staff gathered in our boss\u2019s office. He was not a man who frightened easily. But he knew what was coming. \u201cI need to strongly advise you to leave before Inauguration Day,\u201d he said. \u201cThere\u2019s a world in which you\u2019ll be targeted individually.\u201d He didn\u2019t say my name. He didn\u2019t need to. \u201cThey know how to use the tools this time. Install loyalists at CIA, FBI, and Justice\u2014turn clearances and investigations into weapons.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I told him I wasn\u2019t resigning. Then the CIA\u2019s deputy director sat me down. \u201cJulia, look at me. You don\u2019t have to do this. You have a target on your back that others don\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWith respect, sir\u2014this is what we do.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He searched my face, looking for a crack. When he didn\u2019t find one, he nodded. \u201cGood luck.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Days before the inauguration, Biden gathered the staff in the East Wing. \u201cNow, folks, here\u2019s the deal. Trump doesn\u2019t know it yet, but he needs you. It\u2019s important for the country.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Of all the senior government officials who spoke with us before the new administration took office, Biden was the only one who asked us to stay.<\/p>\n<p>O<span>n Inauguration Day<\/span>, I stood in the West Wing to brief the new national security adviser, minutes after he\u2019d taken office. Down the hall, the president signed an executive order banning me from restrooms in all federal buildings. I would start to plan policy meetings around bathroom stops across Pennsylvania Avenue.<\/p>\n<p>The next day, my team fanned out to brief the new leadership on our nation\u2019s highest secrets. Then these leaders stripped my insurance coverage for the estrogen that keeps me healthy, voided my discrimination protections, and declared me \u201cmale\u201d to foreign governments on my passport. I would keep briefing them anyway.<\/p>\n<p>On the third day came the purge\u2014160 career NSC staff members sent home. Then new White House officials asked me to read them into classified programs; they called me around the clock, desperate for access to intelligence. Programs crucial to U.S. interests sat unmanaged; \u00adthe officers who had been in charge of them had been escorted out. When NSC leaders realized what they\u2019d done, it fell to me to call the people they\u2019d humiliated and beg them to come back. They did.<\/p>\n<p>One week in, the administration I served reinstated its ban on trans people in the military. Decorated officers such as my friend Colonel Bree Fram were thrown out for the crime of being honest. In the White House, people called me \u201cin\u00addispensable.\u201d I still was not welcome in their bathrooms.<\/p>\n<p>A month later, Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard fired 100 intelligence officers, many of them trans, for taking part in an LGBTQ group chat that conservative media had cast as sexually explicit. The next day, I ran an intel briefing\u2014\u00adfor her\u2014\u00adbecause that is what we do. The following week, the president stood before Congress and called trans children a lie.<\/p>\n<p>T<span>hen, one Saturday<\/span>, I was sitting in a rib joint in Roanoke, Virginia, when my phone buzzed. \u201cJulia, sorry to bother,\u201d my boss said. \u201cI have bad news. Your White House tour\u2019s over. Chief of staff called. I can\u2019t give you a reason.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I was elbows-deep in brisket, the sauce congealing. I\u2019d beaten the \u201cFire Julia\u201d office pool by about 68 days. I was being sent back to my home agency. My boss cleared his throat.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cUm, Julia\u2014we still need you Monday. But please. Be discreet.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>Fired on Saturday. Needed on Monday. But stay invisible?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Then my phone exploded\u2014a dozen friends forwarding the same tweet. \u201cSCOOP: A transgender, Biden holdover who hates President Trump is still working in the NSC intel office,\u201d the right-wing provocateur Laura Loomer had written. \u201cIf you are aware of this person and have their name, please send it to me and I will post their identity.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Monday arrived, and cherry blossoms framed a perfect spring day in Washington. I reported to the White House. I had no badge, and my accounts had been revoked. I spent three marathon days helping the administration that had fired me finish the budget, and handing off the portfolio I\u2019d overseen for two years. As I packed up, a string of senior Trump appointees stopped in to say goodbye. One took my hand. \u201cThank you for staying as long as you did,\u201d he whispered. \u201cNot many would have.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That night, a list of hidden \u201cenemies\u201d in the administration provided by Loomer landed on the president\u2019s desk. But an internet activist like Loomer doesn\u2019t come up with names on her own, or just walk into the Oval to give them to the president. Someone in the building had helped her. Most of those fired, including my boss, were rock-ribbed Republicans, experts in their fields, who had been courteous and professional.<\/p>\n<p>As I walked out the north gate with my small box of belongings, I finally understood the warning: \u201cBe discreet.\u201d The White House had needed me. Trump officials had known I was trans from day one. This hadn\u2019t been an issue until it was public\u2014\u00adand then nothing else I\u2019d done mattered. Not my service, not my war-zone tours, not even which restroom I used.<\/p>\n<p>I was the wrong kind of American.<\/p>\n<p>O<span>ne morning<\/span> after returning to the CIA, I passed a tour group in our museum, clustered below a photo of me high on the wall, near one of the 33rd president. \u201cHere next to President Truman,\u201d the guide said, \u201cis a PDB briefer on Air Force One. Our highest secrets, collected at vast expense and great risk.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHow do you become a briefer?\u201d someone asked.<\/p>\n<p>The guide smiled. \u201cVery competitive. Years of experience. Our best.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The tour moved on to the Osama bin Laden raid. I stayed. My eyes drifted over the photo, from my face in black and white to the vice president\u2019s PDB in my lap. I\u2019d spent decades fighting for my place\u2014from a beach boy who dreamed of seeing the world to an officer who served her country. Now my photo hung as an artifact of a time when the CIA proudly said the quality of the work was more important than the gender of the person doing it.<\/p>\n<p>My eyes fell to the door below\u2014the door to the restroom I was barred from entering.<\/p>\n<p>E<span>very year<\/span> since my first day as Julia, I\u2019d sent a Pride Month email to my colleagues. But by June 2025, they\u2019d banned the CIA\u2019s LGBTQ group. Pride flags that had flown for decades were suddenly gone. My finger hovered over the \u201cSend\u201d button. Two sentences:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHappy Pride. You are not alone.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I froze. Someone would report this email to drive me out of the agency, just like at the White House. <em>Don\u2019t end up the <\/em>last<em> openly trans CIA officer<\/em>, I told myself. I deleted the email, breathing through the urge to do something heroic and stupid. In the screen\u2019s dark reflection, I saw my face\u2014exhausted, angry.<\/p>\n<p>That was the moment I knew I had to resign. I\u2019d weighed my family\u2019s health insurance against two sentences of solidarity and chosen to surrender my integrity. The agency that had taught me to tell hard truths was now teaching me to be invisible. It was time to go.<\/p>\n<p>I loved the agency. I loved its mission. I love it still. I served under four presidents and through three wars. I lived by my grandfather\u2019s words: <em>Work hard, don\u2019t complain; the country will take care of you.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>I kept my end.<\/p>\n<p>I<span>n 2017<\/span>, <span>I closed<\/span> my <em>Atlantic<\/em> essay with the words \u201cAnd trans kids should know, CIA is always recruiting.\u201d That promise has been broken. I cannot in good conscience advise LGBTQ Americans to join the CIA\u2014and that sentence is the hardest thing I have ever written.<\/p>\n<p>The agency has been gutted as part of a deliberate plan, the director of the Office of Management and Budget once boasted, to put the people who defend our country \u201cin trauma.\u201d Analysts have been fired in public or questioned by the FBI; decade-old assessments have been denounced by the CIA director in the press. The president calls analysis \u201cvirtual treason\u201d when it contradicts his preferred reality, and uses the CIA to undermine public confidence in American elections.<\/p>\n<p>Fear has done its work. Irreplaceable officers with crucial language and technical skills, and decades of experience, have walked out the door. Those who remain within an agency built to deliver hard truths are being muzzled.<\/p>\n<p>Twenty years ago, I sat in a bunker in Iraq, praying I would survive the night, in a war begun after our intelligence community had failed to do enough to challenge what the White House wanted to hear. Our agency spent the next two decades repairing the trust that failure broke. I know institutions can be rebuilt. Officers can come back, but only if someone is willing to tell the truth. In the entrance of our Original Headquarters Building, across from the stars for every officer slain in the line of duty, you can still read the words carved in marble:<\/p>\n<p><span>And ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>I know that the CIA friends I left behind are holding the line under im\u00adpossible circumstances. The country needs them more than ever. And I understand my colleagues who left but can\u2019t speak up. Their livelihoods depend on clearances and contracts that can be revoked with a phone call. But we all swore an oath to the Constitution.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m afraid too. This administration has already taken most of what I had to lose. I know that the White House and its online mob will come for me. My ancestors fled pogroms; they knew a fear I never expected to feel in the United States. I was offered an untenable bargain: Don\u2019t make trouble. Take the insults\u2014\u00ad<em>deviant<\/em>, <em>diversity hire<\/em>, <em>man in a dress<\/em>\u2014\u00adfrom those who have never faced enemy fire, who asked for my assistance in private and then signed the orders to erase people like me because \u201ctransgender ideology\u201d was a threat to Western civilization.<\/p>\n<p>Flailing regimes dehumanize minorities to distract from their failures. When the economy collapses or a war goes badly, they find a tiny group of people, make them the enemy within, and rally the country against them. This is how it\u2019s gone in Iran. Hungary. Russia. I wrote PDBs about it. This will not stop with trans people. It never has.<\/p>\n<p>But that caricature works only if people like me don\u2019t exist\u2014and I exist. I speak now because somewhere, a trans kid is watching. I want that kid to know that they are not alone. I was a trans kid too, and I\u2019ll be damned if I let another generation grow up the way I did\u2014told that they don\u2019t belong, that they don\u2019t deserve a job, a bathroom, a future. If I could brief presidents and serve in the White House\u2014twice\u2014so can they.<\/p>\n<p>I had planned to spend the rest of my career serving my country at the CIA. This White House took my calling, but it will not take my pride, or tell me that I don\u2019t belong, or that I must disappear. I once wrote under a pseudonym so I could keep serving. I write now in my own name for the same reason.<\/p>\n<p>Julia.<\/p>\n<p><em><small>This article appears in the <\/small><\/em><em><small>October 2026<\/small><\/em><em><small> print edition with the headline \u201cThe Wrong Kind of American.\u201d<\/small><\/em><\/p>\n<p>Read more <a href=\"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/?p=2094\">Wilderness Years<\/a><\/p>\n<\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Trump White House needed me\u2014until the fact that I am trans became public.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2099,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2100","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-national-security"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>The Wrong Kind of American - 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