{"id":1870,"date":"2026-08-06T15:41:35","date_gmt":"2026-08-06T15:41:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/?p=1870"},"modified":"2026-08-06T15:41:35","modified_gmt":"2026-08-06T15:41:35","slug":"connectivity-is-spoiling-camp","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/?p=1870","title":{"rendered":"Connectivity Is Spoiling Camp"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

The first time<\/span> I went to sleepaway camp, I was 10 years old. When I returned home, a month later, my mom opened my footlocker to help me unpack. On top was a tray of my belongings\u2014flashlight, lanyard, marksmanship badge, a few items of clothing, and a stack of letters my parents had mailed to me, many unopened. Beneath the tray were the rest of my clothes, neatly folded, undisturbed since the bag had been packed. I had been too busy having fun to change clothes or read letters.<\/p>\n

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When my now-adult kids went to camp, I sent them daily emails. The camp printed these out for them, along with its own partially written return messages\u2014templates for how to reply. Each day, a photographer posted to the camp website hundreds of images of children swimming, singing, and playing Frisbee. I scrolled and scrolled, \u201cfavoriting\u201d the ones with my kids. When they knew their picture was being taken, they flashed a thumbs-up, our family\u2019s agreed-upon code to signify that all was well. By the time they arrived home, I had put together a photo book with highlights of their summer.<\/p>\n

This summer, my young nephew went to sleepaway camp. At the start, parents were asked to complete forms about meal preferences and desired bedtime routines. Throughout, his parents received daily emails with photos exclusively of him. Camp photographers used facial-recognition software to ensure that parents would receive every image of their child.<\/p>\n

I tell this story across three generations because it captures a profound shift in camp life. Of course, some camps explicitly declare themselves tech-free zones, and some families seek out those experiences. But in many instances, summer camps\u2014previously some of the last places a child could exist beyond the reach of their parents\u2014have adopted a kind of surveillance apparatus in the name of information sharing and safety check-ins, turning camp into yet another environment where moms and dads can hover, ever present.<\/p>\n

For most of the 20th century, camps operated on a simple premise: Send your child and they will come back changed. The magical ingredient effecting that change was parental absence. Camp meant independence from home and school\u2014and this was a feature, not a bug. Children without their parents were forced to navigate the world on their own. They learned to make friends without mediation (no play dates!), resolve conflicts without referees, and experience homesickness without rescue. But at many camps, all of that is being renegotiated.<\/p>\n

Photos taken using facial-recognition technology are but one indicator of this shift. Some camps now employ teams of full-time photographers who roam the grounds all day, documenting daily life. Parents form WhatsApp groups for their children\u2019s bunks within hours of drop-off. Some send their children to camp with two phones: one to surrender at check-in, the other hidden, for calling home. Technology alone didn\u2019t create this new relationship between parents and camp. But it has made it harder to preserve an essential ingredient of the old experience: distance.<\/p>\n

None of the changes<\/span> to camp culture has happened because parents are suddenly worse parents. If anything, many moms and dads today are more emotionally invested in their children than ever. But some have also come to believe that good parenting means vigilance and continuous connection\u2014which can have noticeable effects on kids\u2019 sense of independence.<\/p>\n

Jolly Corley, a co-director of Camp Robindel, in New Hampshire, who has worked there since 1992, remembers when she first perceived the transformation. She didn\u2019t observe it in the parents directly; she saw it in her camp counselors. Sometime between 2008 and 2010, she told me, kids started running to her office. \u201cThey were like, Counselors are being so mean. They won\u2019t let us leave the cabin!<\/em> And they were all upset,\u201d she said. \u201cI was like, Oh, here it is<\/em>.\u201d Young counselors who themselves had been raised by hypervigilant parents\u2014with stranger-danger drills and supervised play dates\u2014had never experienced the sort of freedom that they were now supposed to be giving their campers. They<\/em> had to be taught what autonomy looked like.<\/p>\n

The more I spoke with camp directors, the more I came to understand how the rise of daily camp photography plays into these dynamics\u2014and has reshaped parents\u2019 perception of camp\u2019s very purpose. Michael Marcus has been a co-owner of the boys-only Camp Greylock, in Massachusetts, since 1994. For years, he resisted posting photos. \u201cWhen you have a photographer come around and the kids know that this picture is being taken, it takes them out of their moments,\u201d he told me. And camp is supposed to be a \u201cpure time for them\u201d\u2014something he was trying to preserve. At a certain point, however, all the camps around Greylock began posting photos. Marcus found himself, \u201clike an idiot, standing on a soapbox explaining to the world why everybody else was wrong but me. That is not a particularly good position to be in.\u201d<\/p>\n

So Marcus hired a photographer, and now Greylock posts 50 to 100 photos each day. Some camps, he said, post 500 to 1,000. A few influencer-run operations, with teams of videographers producing content, make summer camp look like a reality-TV show.<\/p>\n

Once posted, camp photos can take on a life of their own. They get scrutinized by parents who go looking for reassurance and instead find reasons to fret. \u201cWhen you see a kid looking focused, they can also look concerned, or they could look worried or unsure of themselves,\u201d Marcus said. And if that\u2019s \u201cthe only photo you\u2019ve seen of your son in three days, you might be worried.\u201d Parents will call to ask if their child is sunburned, or if their kid wore the same shirt two days in a row. If four boys are photographed together and a fifth is shown standing two feet to the right, a parent might wonder, Is he being ostracized?<\/em> \u201cThey can read into absolutely everything that\u2019s natural,\u201d Marcus said. \u201cAnd unfortunately, \u2018natural\u2019 doesn\u2019t seem to sell to parents, because everything in life is scripted and produced.\u201d<\/p>\n

Diane Goldberg Marcus\u2014Michael\u2019s wife\u2014co-directs Belvoir Terrace, a girls\u2019 camp also in Massachusetts. She recently received an email from a parent alarmed by a photo of her daughter leaning over a painting in art class. The parent asked that the camp tell the girl to drop the class; she was worried about the child\u2019s posture, afraid that she would hurt her neck. When Diane found the girl and asked her about the class, the camper was confused. \u201cWhat are you talking about?\u201d she said. \u201cI love this class.\u201d<\/p>\n

Parent chat groups have further blurred the boundary between home and camp. When a child appears in a photo, or doesn\u2019t, word travels fast. \u201cIt\u2019s not even the individual parent,\u201d Michael Marcus told me. For people \u201ctrying not to pay attention, even those parents are bombarded by their friends. Every single age group has their own parent chat, and every bunk has a parent chat, and everybody talks about everything.\u201d<\/p>\n

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Many camp directors now spend a meaningful part of their summer tending not just to their campers but also to the separation anxiety of the adults who sent them\u2014a phenomenon that the psychologist Michael Thompson calls \u201cchildsickness.\u201d<\/p>\n

Parents once understood their own occasional absence from their kids\u2019 lives as normal. Many now consider their presence normal and expected. If parents habitually track their children\u2019s locations, attend every game and recital, and are always available by text, the experience of not knowing what\u2019s happening with their kid can feel like a problem to be solved. \u201cWhen you know what your child is doing every second of the day,\u201d Michael Marcus said, \u201cwhen they disappear, I truly believe that there\u2019s a void that goes on in parents that is very hard for them to deal with.\u201d<\/p>\n

Anxious interventions by parents don\u2019t simply alter camp. They can alter children\u2019s belief in their own capabilities. Corley told me that kids arriving at her camp are sometimes overwhelmed by simple challenges. \u201cIf you\u2019ve never had to solve the problem,\u201d she said, \u201cyou don\u2019t even know the question you\u2019re supposed to be asking.\u201d Many also seem ill-equipped to manage their feelings, because they haven\u2019t practiced this skill without parental oversight. \u201cParents are helping to do that,\u201d she said. \u201cI would say maybe they are doing<\/em> it rather than helping. They\u2019re regulating the emotions of the kids.\u201d<\/p>\n

For more than 30 years, Derek Edwards has worked at Incarnation Camp, in Connecticut. He uses a phrase for what he witnesses on visiting day, when parents get to drop in and observe the goings-on: fishing for pain<\/em>. Some parents arrive primed to interview their child about what might have gone wrong: Was someone unkind? Did someone exclude them? Edwards is careful to say that these moms and dads love their children fiercely and want what\u2019s best for them. Still, he has watched parents arrive and, fueled by the emotions of seeing their child, begin looking for reasons to take them home. The kids, meanwhile, tend not to be bothered by whatever their parent has fixated on. \u201cA lot of times,\u201d he said, the child\u2019s not \u201cfussed.\u201d<\/p>\n

My 19-year old daughter<\/span> went to sleepaway camp for the first time when she was 8. She remembers crying at dinner during her first week and desperately wanting to go home. Her counselor sat with her, listened, and steadied her. My daughter stayed\u2014and went back to camp every summer thereafter and loved it. Recently, I told her that I was working on this article and had heard that some camps now allow children to call home regularly. \u201cThat\u2019s terrible!\u201d she said. \u201cIf I\u2019d been allowed to call home, I would have begged to leave.\u201d<\/p>\n

In his book Homesick and Happy<\/em>,<\/em> Thompson argues that missing home is not a problem but a vital developmental milestone. Working through their homesickness, children develop a sense of self-assurance by realizing that they can be away from home, make friends, survive, and, ultimately, thrive. This builds a kind of confidence different from the type derived from academic achievement. It is the confidence of a young person who has discovered something about themselves.<\/p>\n

My daughter\u2019s example demonstrates yet another benefit of parents\u2019 backing off: allowing children to learn to rely on a broader community. The person who soothed my daughter\u2019s 8-year-old tears was a counselor, and the experience taught her that when she was in distress, she didn\u2019t necessarily need her parents. She just needed a sympathetic teenager, or an adult, to assure her that she could get through it. This is how children learn that people outside their family have their back, Isaac Saposnik, the executive director of Camp Havaya, in Pennsylvania, where my kids were campers, told me\u2014people who \u201ccare about them enough\u201d and who \u201ccan be trusted when things aren\u2019t going well.\u201d<\/p>\n

For many kids, despite the parental hovering, camp is still doing its job. Once, Corley told me, a tetherball got caught in a bush, and some kids at her camp who\u2019d been there for three summers quickly set about trying to untangle it\u2014going at it from different angles, standing on one another\u2019s shoulders to reach a high branch. (\u201cHad a parent seen that,\u201d she said, \u201cthey\u2019d be freaking out.\u201d) Three years before this, the kids would have come running to her for help. Now \u201cthey were like, Well, we can do this ourselves<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

An irony worth noting is that camp has become more important precisely because of the culture of hyperconnectivity. In a childhood rife with screens, highly curated schedules, and constant supervision, an extended stretch of relative freedom takes on even greater importance. \u201cWithout the screens,\u201d Diane Goldberg Marcus told me, \u201cthe kids, every year, they have to relearn how to talk to each other.\u201d<\/p>\n

When I think back on my footlocker\u2014the unopened letters, the unworn clothes\u2014I realize that I was too busy to attend to any of it because I was completely absorbed in a world that wasn\u2019t home. I didn\u2019t suffer from the lack of daily photos. And, as far as I know, my parents didn\u2019t either. I was also learning valuable lessons: that I could be somewhere my parents knew very little about and still be fine, that places besides home were full of people worth knowing and experiences worth having, and that I could access these things on my own.<\/p>\n

My daughter knows this too. She learned it as an 8-year old, crying in a dining hall. Now she is grateful for that crying, and for the counselor who sat with her instead of handing her a phone. She wouldn\u2019t trade that difficulty for anything, because on the other side of it was the discovery of who she was. That knowledge is no small thing. And for many people, it is the kind of knowledge they can build on only by being, for a while, truly away.<\/p>\n

\u200b\u200bWhen you buy a book using a link on this page, we receive a commission. Thank you for supporting<\/em> The Atlantic.<\/em><\/small><\/p>\n

Read more Fed Up With Romance<\/a><\/p>\n<\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Kids sent away during the summer used to get true distance from their parents. 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