{"id":1706,"date":"2026-07-30T22:16:07","date_gmt":"2026-07-30T22:16:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/?p=1706"},"modified":"2026-07-30T22:16:07","modified_gmt":"2026-07-30T22:16:07","slug":"abandon-hope-all-ye-who-enter-the-mar-a-lago-in-heaven","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/?p=1706","title":{"rendered":"Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter the Mar-a-Lago in Heaven"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n
\n

Lindsey, Mr. President, I would argue in my mind, probably has a heavenly version of Mar-a-Lago. It may even be a little bigger. He may have a little more gold in the Oval Office in his mansion in heaven, and I wouldn\u2019t be surprised if he added one big, beautiful ballroom and an arch somewhere on the property because he would want to obviously duplicate his dearest friend in life, you, Mr. President.<\/p>\n

Read more The AI Industry Keeps Breaking the Internet<\/a><\/p>\n

\u2014 Sean Hannity, at Senator Lindsey Graham\u2019s funeral<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n

The Mar-a-Lago in heaven is even bigger than it looks. But it\u2019s less crowded than it might be, considering that it\u2019s the<\/i> Mar-a-Lago in heaven<\/i>.<\/p>\n

Look at the chip-and-putt golf course! Admire the vista stretching from the sea to the lake. There is croquet. There is European-style terrace dining. And six tennis courts! Or pull back from Mar-a-Lago and observe the Reflecting Pool (perfectly American-flag blue), the arch, the Oval Office. This is it\u2014the perfect way to spend eternity!<\/p>\n

It isn\u2019t an insult to consign a soul to Mar-a-Lago for all time. This premier final destination received the \u201ccoveted\u201d Six Star Diamond Award for its \u201cleading hospitality\u201d in 2008\u2014a fact that the club\u2019s website still boasts. Just look at the amenities. The food here is the best. The chocolate cake at the Mar-a-Lago in heaven is even better than the one Xi Jinping enjoyed at the Mar-a-Lago on Earth while President Trump talked about bombing Syria. (You can\u2019t drop bombs from here, but there is<\/i> a button you can press for unlimited Diet Cokes.) Many such treats are available! Enjoy the president\u2019s playlist, the most wonderful playlist in the world: The Phantom of the Opera<\/i> and \u201cNessun dorma\u201d and \u201cTiny Dancer\u201d and \u201cY.M.C.A.\u201d They never tire of playing \u201cY.M.C.A.\u201d! It is<\/i> heaven, after all.<\/p>\n

For entertainment, giant TVs play Hannity<\/i> and Meet the Press<\/i>, 24\/7! Or if you want to read, you\u2019re in luck: There are classified documents too, lying around in cardboard boxes. You can spend forever paging through them if you like. If you get bored of state secrets, visit the ballroom. It is so big and so secure, secure as a fortification. To keep something out? Or to keep something in? No, no one would ever wish to escape this heaven, a heaven interior-decorated according to the wishes of Donald J. Trump. It is good to be here for all eternity.<\/p>\n

Read more The White-Collar Myth<\/a><\/p>\n

Sometimes the sky gets very thick with smog, but that is just because they are burning clean coal. No horrible windmills here! Sometimes you hear coughing, but that isn\u2019t your concern. How long has it been since you heard birdsong or genuine, unfeigned laughter? No matter\u2014why don\u2019t you admire the gold finishings? So many gold finishings! Just when you think you are done admiring them, more sprout up! You can also admire the arch, or what you can see of it. It\u2019s huge, too tall for you to make out the top. It seems to pierce through the roof of heaven itself. Looking at it makes you feel dizzy and disoriented, and you start to feel that you cannot tell up from down. Are you looking down from a great height or up at a great height? Where is your compass? You should have packed your compass!<\/p>\n

No! It is all right. You are all right. Only a true compass could have steered you to such an exclusive place as this. Mar-a-Lago is heaven, and heaven would be incomplete without Mar-a-Lago. To say so is not to flatter power but to speak from your heart, as Sean Hannity knows. And in heaven a true heart is always rewarded. And so, of course, here you are.<\/p>\n

Perfect bliss, after all, to spend eternity haunting another man\u2019s marble halls. Better to reign in hell than serve in heaven? That\u2019s the devil talking! He didn\u2019t know Mar-a-Lago was an option.<\/p>\n

Read more The Real Antidepressant Crisis<\/a><\/p>\n<\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Tour the mansion in the sky to which Sean Hannity has consigned Lindsey Graham\u2019s soul.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1705,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1706","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor"],"yoast_head":"\nAbandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter the Mar-a-Lago in Heaven - Commercial Relocation Pros<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/?p=1706\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter the Mar-a-Lago in Heaven - Commercial Relocation Pros\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Tour the mansion in the sky to which Sean Hannity has consigned Lindsey Graham\u2019s soul.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/?p=1706\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Commercial Relocation Pros\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-07-30T22:16:07+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/commercialrelocationpros.com\\\/?p=1706#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/commercialrelocationpros.com\\\/?p=1706\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/commercialrelocationpros.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/3a3374a445f1b5d4852b1d7c15b9fe3a\"},\"headline\":\"Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter the Mar-a-Lago in Heaven\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-07-30T22:16:07+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/commercialrelocationpros.com\\\/?p=1706\"},\"wordCount\":693,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/commercialrelocationpros.com\\\/?p=1706#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/commercialrelocationpros.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/97cc3a4dc2909188db10e32de7465698.avif\",\"articleSection\":[\"Humor\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/commercialrelocationpros.com\\\/?p=1706#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/commercialrelocationpros.com\\\/?p=1706\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/commercialrelocationpros.com\\\/?p=1706\",\"name\":\"Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter the Mar-a-Lago in Heaven - Commercial Relocation Pros\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/commercialrelocationpros.com\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/commercialrelocationpros.com\\\/?p=1706#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/commercialrelocationpros.com\\\/?p=1706#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/commercialrelocationpros.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/97cc3a4dc2909188db10e32de7465698.avif\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-07-30T22:16:07+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/commercialrelocationpros.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/3a3374a445f1b5d4852b1d7c15b9fe3a\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/commercialrelocationpros.com\\\/?p=1706#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/commercialrelocationpros.com\\\/?p=1706\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/commercialrelocationpros.com\\\/?p=1706#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/commercialrelocationpros.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/97cc3a4dc2909188db10e32de7465698.avif\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/commercialrelocationpros.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/97cc3a4dc2909188db10e32de7465698.avif\",\"width\":1200,\"height\":625},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/commercialrelocationpros.com\\\/?p=1706#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/commercialrelocationpros.com\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter the Mar-a-Lago in Heaven\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/commercialrelocationpros.com\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/commercialrelocationpros.com\\\/\",\"name\":\"Commercial Relocation Pros\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/commercialrelocationpros.com\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/commercialrelocationpros.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/3a3374a445f1b5d4852b1d7c15b9fe3a\",\"name\":\"admin\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"admin\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\\\/\\\/commercialrelocationpros.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/commercialrelocationpros.com\\\/?author=1\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter the Mar-a-Lago in Heaven - Commercial Relocation Pros","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/?p=1706","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter the Mar-a-Lago in Heaven - Commercial Relocation Pros","og_description":"Tour the mansion in the sky to which Sean Hannity has consigned Lindsey Graham\u2019s soul.","og_url":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/?p=1706","og_site_name":"Commercial Relocation Pros","article_published_time":"2026-07-30T22:16:07+00:00","author":"admin","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"admin","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/?p=1706#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/?p=1706"},"author":{"name":"admin","@id":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/#\/schema\/person\/3a3374a445f1b5d4852b1d7c15b9fe3a"},"headline":"Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter the Mar-a-Lago in Heaven","datePublished":"2026-07-30T22:16:07+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/?p=1706"},"wordCount":693,"commentCount":0,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/?p=1706#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/97cc3a4dc2909188db10e32de7465698.avif","articleSection":["Humor"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/?p=1706#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/?p=1706","url":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/?p=1706","name":"Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter the Mar-a-Lago in Heaven - Commercial Relocation Pros","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/?p=1706#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/?p=1706#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/97cc3a4dc2909188db10e32de7465698.avif","datePublished":"2026-07-30T22:16:07+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/#\/schema\/person\/3a3374a445f1b5d4852b1d7c15b9fe3a"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/?p=1706#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/?p=1706"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/?p=1706#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/97cc3a4dc2909188db10e32de7465698.avif","contentUrl":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/97cc3a4dc2909188db10e32de7465698.avif","width":1200,"height":625},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/?p=1706#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter the Mar-a-Lago in Heaven"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/","name":"Commercial Relocation Pros","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/#\/schema\/person\/3a3374a445f1b5d4852b1d7c15b9fe3a","name":"admin","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"admin"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com"],"url":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/?author=1"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1706","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1706"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1706\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1705"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1706"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1706"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/commercialrelocationpros.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1706"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}